Incapable Success

How can I sleep when night is so beautiful?
It makes my emotions jump and it attacks
my nerves. Daylight I can't help but do nothing,
except sleep- since it's my inner light that lacks.

It makes me think of all I've done,
but mostly what I have failed to do.
I have failed my being of good health,
I've failed myself and the rest of you.

How can I sleep when silence is so peaceful?
I can hear my blood pumping in my ears,
and it's soothing to hear shallow breaths
even when death was a wish for many years.

The quiet of night helps me understand
how I can be isolated without a single care-
that without my presence all is sound-
how can my existence be one to bare?

Over seven billion people who live,
but what are we all meant to become?
They are distracting you from yourself
because they do not want you to be the one

who figures it out.

Over seven billion people who live,
but what is my purpose?
I'm just a mishap.
Just an incapable success.